Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum podcast. Here we come to solve the day. It's Hey Riddle Riddle. I'm Adal Rifai. I'm JPC. And I'm Erin Keif. Here we come to solve the day. Here we come to solve the day. If you would have sung it, I think it would have resonated. Okay, take that one more and let's take it back. Here we come to solve the day. I was wrong. It was better the first way, so let's take that back.

What if I did it in like a, what's that guy's name? Andy Sandberg? Kaufman. Who's yes? That's us. Do it like a... Oh, he died? He's in a Kaufman? Give me a coroner office. Do you want a coroner office? No, I want a coroner office. Do another one. For my Andy Kaufman. Do another one. Another what? I don't know. Playing word. I'm Adal Rifai. I'm JPC. And I'm Erin Keif. And you're listening to... And you're missing in the hammer in the middle. And you're missing out on the... Full disclosure, we haven't recorded in a very long time. And it shows. Six months, correct? Yeah. In audio, I mean, it doesn't sound, but it shows. It shows. If you were in the room with us, you could see that we're on a bunch of futons. And I also put on weights during the break. Well, you ate nothing famously for six weeks except for spinach. Muscle milk. Which doctor said, do not eat muscle. You're supposed to drink it. But you would freeze it. I froze it and gnawed on it. Like ice cubes. I ruined my teeth. I fucked up all my enamel. My gum line is completely receded. I did the same thing but with breast milk for the last six months. Just chewed on the ice first. It's the baby diet. I'm back on the baby diet. Do you think that would be good for you? No. You don't think so?

I think breast milk is specifically good for the baby who's mom's breast milk. Wait, what? So what about like wet nurses?

I think it's good for you, but it's not as good. It's not as good for you?

Because I think it's like your hormones and like your, there's all this like weird magic that happens between a woman and her baby.

Were you at the strip club for a wet nurse now?

Weird magic that happens for women. If your baby has a cold, your body can tell and will give the baby the nutrients it needs.

Body magic.

It's like body magic.

Your boobs just know. Look it up. That's real.

I'm not going to look up a boob magic.

You've tricked me into this before. I'm trying to sabotage baby things. Hey Riddle Riddle, your boobs just know. This is my work computer. Women's bodies are so smart.

Women's bodies be shopping for the health of their babies.

Women's bodies are magic and they also be shopping. Women's lips be chappin'. You can't stop a woman's lips from chappin'. I don't know enough to refute you about the whole women's bodies being magic and giving a baby the cold or whatever you said. Maybe I'll Google it.

I do want to know how valid this is, but it sounds like Maybe like this is like some anecdotal, is there like a scholarly journal I can read about?

This is a very real thing like it's it's not like an exact Obviously, you know, there's a lot of things that's just like constantly in your breast milk But I also know that sometimes you will crave something like a nutrient that your baby is Needing or craving because like oh you need magnesium or your baby needs magnesium. Okay, that makes sense. Oh It's very, very interesting. I would read about it. If you hate your baby, will your boobs poison the baby? Yeah, if you hate your baby. Your baby's like super rude. Can I just say that's my favorite sentence I've ever said. This is weird because when I was a baby, I guess my mom must have been craving cigarettes and alcohol. Was your mom Rufus Wayne right? Add that to the playlist, everybody. Whoa, wait. Rufus Wayne, right? That's the best Rufus, right? Well, no.

Actually, I like the song that's like, California, California. That's Katy Perry. Here we come. Way back where we started from. Have you ever heard of Wainwright and his dad?

Oh, so good. The Swimming Song is one of my favorite songs.

Wounded and Wainwright, yeah. Also, Rufus Wainwright, look up an album. I think he did a bunch of Judy Garland songs with a big band behind him. There's a whole album. It's very cool. All right.

Anyways, I'm Old Man. Have you guys heard Bruce Wainwright?

Cigarettes and chocolate milk. These are just a couple of your nightmares. That's how Batman sounds, not how Bruce Wayne sounds. How does Bruce Wayne sound? I'm a millionaire.

Sort of similar.

Yeah, very similar.

Hold up.

Dead stop. Hard stop. Full stop.

You think Bruce Wayne is a millionaire.

Every billionaire is a millionaire, too.

T-shirt. That's a riddle right there.

How can you be a billionaire and not a millionaire? Ooh. What's the answer?

It's not. You can't. Oh, okay.

So it's not a riddle. I'm Old Man Puzzles.

Great. Sorry everybody, we forgot how to do this. Yeah, so sorry. Or did we never know? I said that to Adal last night in World News Show. Yeah, we came out for the 8 o'clock show, Erin did one scene, ran to the sides when it was edited, and just like grabs, tugs on my suit coat and says, I forgot how to do improv. I just don't know how to do it.

Erin also had the line last night, which is my favorite Erin Keif flying of all time, where in a scene, I'm not going to explain the context, but in a scene she said, I can piss on my own tummy. She did. She volunteered that. I did. And I cried laughing at my own joke because I was like, I've said a lot of dumb stuff, but nothing as dumb as that.

Are you actually ever afraid that you've forgotten how to do improv if you haven't done it for a while?

I think I'm bad at it 80% of the time.

I think most people are.

Oh, sweetie, I'd say 85. Oh, thank you. And I'm bad 100%.

I think being bad at it is different because we're all certainly bad at it, but I don't think I've ever been like, I forget how to do this.

I'm like, I know how to do this bad. I know how to be wrong at this. Yeah, I sometimes, just my brain, like the way you listen is different and sometimes I forget how to lock into the way you listen on stage. Interesting. Yeah, that makes total sense. I love that we're all self-depreciating in terms of like the more time goes on, the less valuable we are. Yeah, for sure. Oh, so true. All right, so I'm gonna do some listener submitted. Riddies and Pibblies. This is from Celine.

I think it's Celine. It could be Selena, but I think it's Celine. Who's that singer that got killed? Celine. Lisa left her Lopez.

She's great. Celine's from Melbourne, Melbourne as they would say. And I got some... That's Australia.

Riddies, yes it is. You can give me any city in the country and I'll tell you where it's from. Oh, okay. Great.

Yeah.

Montreal. Here's our first fiddle. Not in the country.

You throw away the outside and cook the inside, then you eat the outside and throw away the inside. Egg, we've had this. What? Nope.

Watermelon, we've had this. Egg, we've had this. No. Watermelon, we've had this. A baby. You throw away the outside and cook the inside, then you eat the outside and throw away the inside. Rifai, we've had this.

What did you eat? Turducken.

Did someone say baby?

Turducken. Turducken. You cook the outside. You cook the outside.

No, you throw away the outside, and cook the inside. Then, you eat the outside, and you throw away the inside. That's an egg.

No! I only want the whites. Oh, this is the fruit that they eat in hook, where it's just like, it's just colors. It's called hook fruit. I remember that in Hook, vividly as part of my childhood, the food that they eat in that scene is insane. Everybody wants to eat it. It's basically just like colored Play-Doh. Yeah. Which is just Play-Doh. But it must have been for those actors. It doesn't sound good. Have you seen Hook?

I bet it was like mashed potatoes with food coloring. I want to see a scene. Just full of food coloring. I want to see a scene.

Do you have an idea for a scene? Do you have an idea for a scene? I just want to see a scene.

I want to see a scene. Erin and JPC, you are two, we may have done this before, you are two rejected Lost Boys.

We've definitely done this before.

It doesn't matter. We haven't done this one. Okay, so you're two new rejected lost boys. Hold on, we're not worried anymore about repeating riddles. We're only worried about repeating seeds. We've done a hundred Adam and Eve seeds. We've done like Adam and Eve gardeners. We've done like a thousand times.

Improv is bad. It's Adam and Eve, not adamantium. All right, we're two rejected lost boys. Gotcha. Is that it?

No. If we've done that before. No, we haven't. KJ said we have.

No, we've been lost boys who rap, but we haven't been rejected lost boys. KJ, hold on. KJ, do you trust us enough to make this different? Wow! I thought for sure I was going to give a 100% certainty. I want to see a scene. OK.

JPC, you are a single dad. Great. Erin, you are the child.

And you specifically want food that you've seen in movies and TV that's maybe not feasible. Honey, I think Dad was going to make just a red bear and frozen pizza tonight.

No. Green pepper and black ham.

No, I want the bread from Aladdin. You want the bread from Aladdin? The loaf of bread at the beginning of the animated version of Aladdin.

I've only seen the new version. What?

I've never seen the animated version.

I know the bread from the new version.

Did you see it by accident? I saw it on accident. Prepositions are important.

What do they teach you at that school?

They don't. Okay.

They show us movies. Like the animated Aladdin. Well, okay, so I don't know the bread for me. I have wonder bread.

Can I just heat you up a loaf? No, no, no, you don't understand. Can I heat you up a loaf, honey? This bread looks better than any other bread and I want the animated kind.

I'm gonna go stay at mom's house. She has movie food. Honey, you're not sleeping in the graveyard again, okay? It's cold.

Name of movie food.

Name of movie food. I think that they ate a pulled pork sandwich in Con Air at one point. We're going to pivot to, I want to see, JPC, you're a different character now, but you are in the room. Could he have the same voice in this position? You're in the room and you just watched Robin Williams' audition for the Genie in Aladdin.

Okay.

And he crushed it more than anybody's ever crushed anything. And now it's your turn to audition. Hey man, just wanted to say really great. You did really great. Oh, thank you very much.

Up next, what's your name? My name is Clive Owen.

Do we even have to fucking watch this?

I guess we might as well. Yeah, do whatever you want. Okay, there are sides. Is someone going to be reading with me? Yeah, there's broccoli and potatoes. Whatever side you want, grab. But I think we're done here. So I'm going to do my addition in front of this table full of sides and just kind of make it my own.

Yeah, can I be honest? That guy got the part. Okay, I'd still love to... Yeah, go nuts. Here we go.

Ooh, ooh, yes, what is this?

Mmm, broccoli.

Ooh, ooh, might as well have, ooh, ooh, mashed potatoes, hot potatoes. Hey, are you just aping the guy before you? Uh, first of all, that, I don't think you're in 2019, you should be saying that. Second of all, uh, I don't think so. I think I'm just doing an audition. I'm just riffing with what's on the table. He had a bunch of hilarious impressions. He did like a Reagan impression. He did all sorts of stuff. He's lots of funny voices. Yeah, a lot of tropical stuff for this 1991. 1991. Uh, yeah, I can kind of launch into that.

I did not have sexual relations with that country.

What's that? It's 1991. That's Bill Clinton.

I thought Clinton was 92. Born in 92.

I thought Clinton was born in 92. He was governor of Arkansas. Yeah, you're right.

He was born in 1992. But he hadn't said that line yet. He hadn't said that line.

So Clinton was president in... No. In 91? No. Hold on. George Bush was.

That's what I'm saying. 92 was Clinton. But Clinton was in the mix. The political mix was a winner. Clinton was in there. But he hadn't said that phrase. No. I just need to be right. Not in public. Erin, what's your rule?

You don't think Hillary had asked? You throw away the outside and cook the inside. Then you eat the outside and throw away the inside. Cadbury egg. Asshole. We've had this before. It's not.

It's not an egg?

It's not an egg. Is it? Okay. Is it delivery?

You throw away the outside. Is the outside a box? No. Fuck you. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. That came out of nowhere. Oh, she's crying. Oh no, she's gonna do her Miss Piggy impression. How cool of a dad would you be if you get your kid for the weekend, your kid comes over, and he goes, Dad, can I have some pizza? And you go, it's not delivery, it's this porno. And you put it in a porno. I don't know, cool dad? I know that you didn't really have much of a dad growing up, but between you and me, that would not be great. Hi Riddle. You're getting closer with the idea of like... You throw away the outside. You cook the inside. Is it a meat? Is this meat? No.

Not meat.

So, okay, so it's a potato. Yeah. Do you skin the potato? Is it a potato? It's not a potato. Okay. It's not a water move. You throw away the outside.

Is the outside that green? Like, is it like leaves, basically?

Uh-huh. Bamboo. This is what Akwala eats. Oh, coconut. This is a pretty common food. It's a vegetable. Common food. That you throw the leaves away?

Green onion. Is it green?

So you throw away the green part. You cook it and then you take it out and then you eat. Eat it and then throw away the center part of it. Is the hypothetical person eating this eating it wrong? No. You do have to cook it. You do have to cook it? Yeah, you do. Avocado. But there's lots of different ways to cook it and prepare it and it can be turned into other things. This is a plantain?

Is it a plantain?

Well, a lot of, sometimes they take it. I don't want to totally give it away.

Okay, don't give it away.

Give it away, give it away, give it away now. Is it a red hot chili pepper? No. Is it a flea?

Okay, so it's a vegetable.

Yeah, it's something people eat a ton, especially during the summer.

Watermelon. No. I say that ten times.

We fucked that up so much. It's a vegetable. Tomatoes. Tomatoes? Tomatoes are vegetables, Erin. You are going crazy, but what are some fruits? No, tomatoes are fruits.

Yeah, and... Pineapple. They're like a staple at like a barbecue. Peanutball.

Celery. No, you see them at barbecues. They're also... Peach. I would associate them with summertime and... Asparagus. Watching things. Popcorn. Oh corn! Nice, it's corn.

What about corn do you throw away? The part you cook? The husk? You throw away the husk, then you cook the corn. Yeah, and then you throw... Then you eat the corn, and then you throw away the center cob.

The center cob. They have corn in Australia. Nope. No? No. She says she's only seen it on TV. You've only, she's only ever seen corn on TV? No. In Australia they have maize. That's like, I have cousins from Florida and they came up to Indiana for Christmas and I showed them corn and they'd never seen it before.

That's kind of a even... I was going to say that's an upgrade but from Florida to Indiana that's a stalemate.

I've said it many times that Indiana is the Florida of the Midwest. Oh boy. Here's another riddle. Which five- I don't want to do any more Riddles! Was it sent in by, uh... Same. Same.

Same person. Her name's Same? Yeah, her name's Same.

Is that Australian name? No. Her name's Celine. Same girl, same. Same, same. Which five-letter word is pronounced exactly the same when its last four letters are removed from it? Penis. I love this show.

I don't care what you two say.

I love it and I think we should keep doing it.

Is it tummy? No. It's my letter word. It's pronounced exactly the same when it's last four letters are removed from it. Whee! When it's last four letters are removed. So it's only leaving, so it's got to be a word like TCP.

Adal my dear boy, these must be vowels.

You're definitely on the right track, Adal.

Just do every letter. Wait, wait, wait. You're gonna just let him do every letter and that's how he's gonna solve this riddle?

Unless you get it faster than him. B, C, D. D, E, I. No.

So it's not E, Y, E, but you get, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not E, Y, E, because that's three.

Can you look at your phone real quick, Erin? Can you legit check? Are you sure it's not penis? Oh, it changed. The letters rearranged to themselves and now it says penis. I can't believe I just said penis.

Is it?

What?

Is it? No. Okay, hold on.

I want to see a scene. So we are all, we are all, oh god.

Insane and you're our puppet?

We're all very old-timey Roman people, and we are inventing the alphabet.

So this is the 26 letters that we're all familiar with, but we haven't named any of the letters yet.

We just have their shapes.

So we are the council that is in charge of taking the shapes. And you did say old-timey Romans? Oh no. Hey there, hey there, Claudio. Yeah. And Brutus, come in. Oh yeah. All right, here we go. Dada-dada-dada-dah. T-t-ta-ta. We're trying to invent something new, a new way to communicate. Understood, understood. All right, well gentlemen, we can all get our ideas in. What about this sound? Flerp!

Okay, that's... Now, we know all the sounds.

We don't have the name of the individual character. Okay, how about this one's called Bingo, Bango, and then this one's Ha, and this one's Ta, and this one's Ha again.

Okay, now you're just selecting random ones in the middle. Do we at least want to make those sounds like together?

Alright, let's see. Bingo, Bango, Ha, Ta, Ta.

That's fun for an alphabet, wouldn't you say? Kind of fun, but it sounds a little too close to the Greek alphabet. Of course, I rushed bingo-bango-hat-ta-ta, but I didn't get in.

Yeah, of course.

I became a sig-ep. That's why I'm such a prick. Okay, now let's take this one, for example. Now this one's just a little circle. What do we think we would call a little circle? A pee-hole.

Oh, a pee-hole.

That's good.

A snake that's giving its tail a little nibble. Ooh, how about Ouroboros? It's a snake eating its own tail. I like Nibble Snake better than that. Nibble Snake by this one's Nibble Snake. Can you milk it? All right, let's go. Let's go letter by letter. Okay. All right. But that's what we're... Well, we haven't been.

No, I know, but we will be now. And you will go in a row and we're going to get all 26 letters, okay?

Can I say something real quick? Yes. Claudio, you're being a real alpha. Am I?

Yeah, I bet you a hundred dollars.

I'm sorry. What a dollars. A hundred gold coins. That you're being a real alpha.

I bet. Alpha. Interesting. All right.

The first letter's name is... BLEEP! You do the next one. Okay. We got BLEEP. This one looks like it's a straight up line with a little circle on the end.

I'm going to call you Kevin. Hmm. Okay. This one here has a... Shaniel, you're up next. We got to move quicker than this. Cabo Wabo.

Oh, what? Uh, every man. Gee, Bippa. A cup! Chilies! Baby back ribs. Oh my gosh. There's a snake in my boot! And that's 26. See you soon. I wanted to get through all of them. This is a five letter word.

I lost count.

It's the same when you remove the last four letters. X. Gonna give it to you? Go letter by letter now. What? Y? Alright, it's in the second half of the alphabet.

Second half? After L. Are we cutting it down the middle?

Yeah.

It's the letter after L. No, it's like between L and Z. Oh. Go letter by letter.

Q. Q. Q-U-E-U.

They got there eventually. We had to do an entire scene before they got there.

And it's in the letter Q. Yeah. Okay, okay. Oh boy, I'm gonna get roasted for this lambastity. Can't wait. Is Q the person in James Bond that makes all the weapons and stuff, right?

No, that's money penny. Yes, Q is the science person who makes the money. I want to see a scene. JPC, you are James Bond. Yes.

Erin, you are Q. The role I was born to play.

But the actual Q, the real Q who's brilliant, was killed.

So you're Q's like replacement who's totally not prepared.

And you're trying to cobble together what you can spur of the moment.

Okay. Blofeld's really got it in for me this time, Q. So give me everything you've got.

Right, yes. So, this I just made. It's great. It's a fork on a fan. And if someone stands too close to the fan, there's a fork in them.

Oh, right. So, this is a fork in a fan. Yeah.

Ooh, a dinner guest best not know their place. What else have you got for me, Q? All right, how about, right, okay, this is a knife and I figure if you're by a slide in the, this is an Australian awesome, if you're by a slide and your enemies at the bottom of the slide, you can put the knife on top of the slide and drop it down the slide and it can maybe stab them if there's enough momentum. That's quite a rush. What else have you got for my cue? This is sort of a psychological weapon.

Hey, put my daughter down.

Never mind. I was going to walk up to your enemies and say, this is your son. This is your son. But I guess I don't have to do... Let's see.

An elbow can hurt, right?

An elbow can hurt.

Who played Q in the most recent? I want to say... She's a woman, right?

No, she's a woman. No, that's M. It was Judi Dench.

Oh, what's his name? I feel like I've heard so many people... I know his name.

So, Moneypenny is the... Moneypenny. ...overall boss or the... Moneypenny's like the secretary.

I've heard a lot of chatter where people want Phoebe Waller-Bridge from Fleabag to play Moneypenny.

Well, I think she's writing. She's rewriting the next James Bond. Oh, really? That's great. I love Fleabag. Season 2 Fleabag is my favorite thing in the world. They also wanted Idris Elba to play James Bond for a while, which I think he would have been awesome. But Idris Elba's in the new Fast and the Furious movie, which is going to be fucking insane. It looks so good. We're gonna go see that open right now. Yeah, for sure. Did you know they got the new James Bond as Jason Biggs?

I'd say.

Patter blue suit.

Thanks for watching! But I would see another one, I guess. And also, the guy who did it, like Ian Fleming or somebody Broccoli, he died like years ago. Someone Broccoli? Yeah, there's the person... Ian McKellen wrote James Bond. Ian McKellen, Sir Broccoli of the Round Table. Of the Round Table? Yeah. What if you were knighted and you got a vegetable name? Our eyes, Sir Pomegranate. I thought my name was Kenneth Branagh. You kneel, Ian McKellen. You stand.

Sir Corn! Are you ready for another one?

Yes. A horse jumps over a tower and the tower disappears.

It's not an illusion or a dream.

So where could this happen? Chessboard have had this.

No, not this exact one. Mr. Jerk. I'm calling Adal Mr. Jerk for that one. Because I look like Steve Martin. Who's a real asshole. Nothing to do with this movie. Wow. Wow. Yeah. Take it back.

The Jerk is a good movie. Yeah, and he's not an asshole, I don't think. He just likes the banjo. Ready?

I know you belong to somebody new But tonight you belong to me

Oh yes! JPC's not gonna join in. No, I don't, I don't fucking want to. He's a tenner. That movie is very funny though. So is your ass. First of all, I told you that in confidence. I'm so sorry, I just blew one of your secrets. You're famously born with an ass with a clown birthmark on it, right? Yeah, she's the born with a middle. Oh my god, scary. Sammy loves books and spends all of his time in the local library. In just one month, he's worked his way through three volumes of an en... Oh, sorry. He's worked his way through three volumes... Did you just read the answer? No. He works his way through three volumes of an encyclopedia in two volumes of a dictionary, yet he could not remember one word that they contained. Why was that? Dumb. Because the volume was loud and very loud. The volume... Oh! It's not the answer, but I like you! What was Steve, you said? Sammy. Sammy loves books and spends all his time in the local library. I know what it is. Sammy is actually Lee Harvey Oswald, book depository. He's racked with guilt, can't concentrate. Yeah, it's bullets is what it is. Bullets is the volumes. No. Sammy loves books and spends all his time in the local library, and just one month he worked his way through three volumes of and his second video. It sounds like the beginning of a shitty Bon Jovi song. Oh, is Sammy an actual bookworm? Sammy loves the library books! Yeah, Sammy was a bookworm, a little bug that eats its way through books.

I would like to see a scene.

I bet you would. You sicko.

JVC, you're a bookworm and you've gone back outside and you're talking to Adal who's like a regular worm and you're being really pretentious and Adal's just like had enough.

Mmm.

Oh, just get some fresh air. How is the dirt? What is this new accent you have? I'm sorry? You're talking differently. No, this is how bookworms talk. What'd you call yourself? A bookworm?

Bookworm? I'm sorry, your mouth is full of the dirt from the ground?

Yeah, I was eating dirt on earthworm. Sure, good. By the way, how are the birds out here? They're asleep.

They're asleep. For the most part. Okay. Can you fuck off? I'm trying to have sex with myself.

I'm sorry? I'm asexual. Well, uh, that's not what that means.

I know that because I'm a bookworm, so I've read up about that. What are you fucking now, huh? Tell me three facts.

What am I fucking now? Huck Finn, never heard of it.

Isn't that banned?

Yes, that's why they put it in the bottom of the library.

The bookworm could have his way. You can say basement. I know that word.

You know basement? Mm-hmm.

That's because you spend all your fucking time in the basement, isn't it? Mm-hmm, yes. No, I'm in the dirt most of the time. Yes, dirt, dirt, dirt. Dirt's the word's basement. Dumb as dirt. What else? It's really hard to remember. What's another fact? Needle at you because you're so proud of who you are. What else do I know? What's that? Give me another fact. Okay, let's see. The Earth is 6,000 years old. It tastes older than that.

Well, your mom tastes older than she really is.

No, we're asexual. I wouldn't even derive any sexual pleasure from eating your mom.

Be honest with me. Yes. Did you eat my mom? Yes, I did.

I'm your new daddy now. Call me worm daddy. Say it. Worm daddy? Yes, I'm your worm daddy.

Be a good little boy and play around with the director of daddy.

That's my new favorite play. People are going to be doing that scene in acting classes for the next 70 years. I'm teaching acting classes by the way for the next 70 years. What's the name of your acting class? Worm Daddy. It's called Worm Daddy and how much is it? It's called Worm Daddy Learn to Perform Like a Worm.

And that's your new website, WormDaddy.com, right? Yeah, it's performed like a worm.com. With Danica Patrick. Yeah, be careful about typing that website in, though. Yeah, you might get Dennis Rodsman's site. Or teach you how to dance. It's called Dances Rod. How much is one of your classes? It's 189. 189 what? Uros. We got to see a scene where Erin and I are enrolled in an interacting class. Me, me, me, me.

You know you need unique New York. Attention, attention, attention.

Okay, it's going to be just probably the two of you for today. Not even you? What's that? You're not going to be here? The teacher is never here. So I'm going to leave class. I just heard that sometimes the teacher becomes the student and sometimes the student becomes the teacher. Well, we all have something to look forward to aspirationally, I guess. Is this a method acting or a Sanislavski? Mm-hmm. Yes, it's a... Sanislavski. It's a Sanislavski. Is this Santa's lost key? It's a Sanislavski. I want you to pick a partner. Everyone pair up, pair up, find a partner. I pick you. Okay, you can't pick me because my partner is Jesus. He walks with me and that's why there's only two sets of footprints. Sorry, I pick Adal. Okay, great. And Adal and Erin. Great. Now I know your names, and now if I can just use context clues to decide which one is Adal and which one is Erin. I'm Erin, A-A-R-O-N. And you're Adal? U-U-E. Finish it. Are you spelling quest love? I'm trying to spell cute. Okay, face your partner. I want you to look in your partner. I want you to look deep within your partner's eyes. On the count of three, I will count one, two, three. I want you to say a character flaw that you recognize on the other. One, two, three. Cares too much. Okay, good. Now we've gotten to the truth of acting. Do not break eye contact. Do not break eye contact. Do not break eye contact. On the count of three, I want you to name the person who you've had the most recent sex dream about. One, two, three. J.P. Riddle.

Riddle. See you then. Francis Ford Coldplay. Is this how the show normally goes? Yeah, pretty much.

I forget how to do it. No, no, this is the show. No, this is the show. As we help Erin recall how the show goes, we're going to take a quick break, and we'll be right back with more Hey Bim-Bim-Baba. And we're back. We're back. We're back. JBC, we have to go back. We've got to go back in time. To the break? Yeah. You want to go back to the break, Doc? You fuck your mom.

What?

You fuck your mom in the break, we have to go back. Okay, she listens to the show. Oh no. Ready for another riddle. Yes. Still from the same person. What kind of flower enables you to see it? Chris and The Nem. What kind of flower enables you to see it? Oh, cooking flower? Nope. All-purpose flower. Peonies. I see you. Peonies are my favorite flower. No one's ever bought them for me. That can't be true. Truly. Really? All-time favorite flower and no one's ever talked to me.

Does your boyfriend listen to this?

No. He stopped listening around episode like 15 or 16. Cool, and we're happy with it. Throw it on the stairs. In his defense, he has to talk to me all day. He doesn't have to. He gets to you, Erin. Can I ask you why when you said that you put a briefcase up on the table, you straightened your tie, and suddenly we were in a courtroom? Yeah. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, in his defense, this is why my boyfriend is not the worst. Okay, this... Yeah, someone buy me peonies.

No, no. Somebody message my boyfriend and tell him to buy me peonies.

Yes.

No, no, no. When Erin dies, leave peonies.

Yeah, that's nice. If I die, I would like there to be constantly... When you die. When you die. You will die. All will die. What kind of flower enables you to see it? Enables you to see it. Iris. Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

He got it. That's interesting. He got it. I think he's confident. When I die, I want cooking flour. People put cooking flour on my coffee. It just looks like people are dousing your graven coke.

What do you want your gravestones to say? What do you want on your tombstone?

Pepperoni.

What do I want on my tombstone? Sam Elliott, Kurt Russell.

Oh boy, who else is in that?

What if I had a headstone?

Boy, what would I want on it? Gotta have my name. Gotta have my name. Gotta have my name.

Gotta have my name on it. Gotta have the dates that I

Plus or minus 10 that I lived and died.

It doesn't have to be exact. Don't care about exact.

Approximate. I want an arrow pointing down that says I'm with stupid.

That's great. That's funny.

And in parenthesis dead.

I want like, shh, I'm sleeping. Or like, relax, I'm fine. What if yours just said, help? Help, help, exclamation point. Buried alive. Buried alive. You know, I want shh, I'm sleeping. That's pretty good.

Whatever my child's name is, for the purposes of this, let's just call my child Bradley Cooper.

I want to put on my gravestone, Bradley Cooper, why don't you visit more? So whoever they are when they see it, they'll be shamed. And listeners, what do you want on your tombstone? Tweet it and use the hashtag morbidasfuck.

But also tag tombstone the pizza brand. Yes. Oh, you have to. And tell them in so many words to sponsor us. I actually can only... I'm loyal to one pizza brand right now. Contractually. I did a commercial for a pizza brand and now I can't wait. Oh, earlier JPC mentioned Red Baron. What's your pizza brand? Hungry Howie's. That's Michigan. But yeah, but Hungry Howie's is a delivery brand. Oh, okay.

You can still do frozen pizza, right?

What was your commercial?

Can we see it somewhere?

Yeah, it might be on the internet at some point.

I filmed it a few months ago though. Pornhub.com slash Hungry Howie's. It was a blast. They flew me to Detroit and I had a fake baby. By the way, I flew you to Detroit. Yeah, and I had a fake baby. Fly me to Detroit. I played life. Get me the fuck out of here immediately. My name was Wife, and I had a six-month-old baby, and I got to hold a baby all day. It was fun. I left my husband.

I went, we're leaving. Hungry Howie's, by the way, pretty good pizza. It's so good.

It's cheap and cheesy.

It's cheap and cheesy and boy oh boy. I've had Jets. Jets is Michigan-based as well, right? Jets is Detroit-style pizza, and I don't know if it's Detroit-based. It must be, it must be. Hungry Howie's is the best gluten-free pizza I've ever had. Jets is in Chicago, too. They have Jets in Chicago, yeah. After I filmed that commercial, I was so hungry for pizza because I had been smelling it all day and I didn't get to eat it in the ad.

And so I went to Hungry Howie's and they were like, what kind of crust do you want? And I went, what kind do you have?

And then I went, oh my god, I know every kind you had because I've been listening to the list of your crusts all day. What is wrong with me? Erin, did they give you Hungry Howie's when you did it?

No, because in the commercial I didn't eat, so they had tons of pizzas around. I'm sure I could have eaten them. I'm always so confused about like, I guess as a young adult, I always assumed that if you did a commercial for a food brand, you would get free food from that brand. Is it because you watched Happy Gilmore and it's the free subway car for life?

But I know like George Clooney has a red card, so like any time he goes to McDonald's, he can get unlimited red lobster. Wait, does George Clooney do McDonald's commercials? I don't think so, but he promoted them or something on Ask4. Why would George Clooney ever go to McDonald's? Unsolicited.

I don't know, but he has one of those cards where he can just get his free McDonald's. Sometimes when you smell McDonald's, you just need it. Well, like I assume TJ got free Sonic because he's been the Sonic guy for 12 fucking years.

I don't think that's true though. They don't get free Sonic. No, yeah. Yeah, I can't recommend Hungry Hallies enough. It was so good. Why are you reading that off a card? I don't know. Are we ready for another Riddle? Yes. No. Peter the Pirate has caught Felicity the Fairy and put her into a bottle with the cork in to stop her escaping. Oh, she's dead. She dies in that bottle. She's not dead. Erin, if she doesn't put blow holes in the bottle, she dies. Can you help me? You think... You think... You think holes punctured in the top of a bottle for air are called blow holes? If you put the hole in the whale, it's a blow hole. How is the whale different than the bottle? Both have necks, both have large body.

Blow holes are what you put in the side of a bathroom stall at a truck stop.

I went to see newfound glory, but I found a known glory hole. Peter the pirate has caught Felicity the fairy and put her into a bottle with the cork in to stop her from escaping.

Can you help get her out but without taking out the cork and breaking the glass? Are pirates and fairies in the same universe?

Is that what we're here to hear? YAR? I've heard of Tinkerbell and Captain Hook, and that's the only instances of pirates and fairies existing in the same universe that I know. Can you name one more? Is that true?

Oh, interesting. I didn't know that.

That's a children's story, right? No.

Okay.

Yeah, anyway, I'm right about the Pirates and the Fairies thing.

That's two different fucking universes.

What's Stardust?

The Neil Gaiman book? Ziggy?

Okay, okay, okay, okay. She's in the cork, or she's not in cork. Tinkerbell? She's in Ireland? I went to the fairy museum in Dublin. Blarney?

Blarney.

She's in a bottle with a cork in from stuffing her. How do you get her out but without taking out the cork or breaking the glass? Is magic involved? No. Is shadows involved? No. Is it something we have to do to the sentence?

Like we have to omit a word or something? It's not a wording thing.

Do I have to kidnap Peter the Pirate and force him to do it on my behalf? We clap our hands, we believe.

We stop believing when she disappears. Do we hold her over the fire, melt her, and then pour her out of the porous opening of the wall?

No! Okay, that's why I asked. No, that's so dark. That's why I asked.

Does it have something to do with magic? No, it's nothing to do with magic. Is it body magic, woman magic? Are you just asking me to create a magic trick? No, it has nothing to do with magic.

No, no, magic doesn't have anything to do with magic.

It's not like red-speeding, it's not magic. Is this like a Yahoo answers, like somebody's asking this question, we need to hurry up and answer it? Yeah. Okay. She's stuck in the bottle. She's a fairy in the bottle. You gotta help her get out now. I can't use my hands but I can use my mouth? No. You can't remove the cork and you can't smash the bottle. How do you get her out or how do you help her? How do you get her out? Does she exit through the neck of the bottle? Yes. Okay, and I can't remove the cork? No. Can I perforate the cork? What's that mean? What if you push it in? Do you push the cork in? Yeah! That's what perforate means. I'd like to see a scene. Um, let's see, what do I want? What do I want? Ooh, dealer's choice. She's looking at a menu.

So, uh... Adal, you are a fairy, and you are stuck in a bottle, and JBC, you're a pirate, and you're just trying to, like, get your way out of there. Wait, am I in the bottle as well? No. Gotcha.

You're holding the bottle.

I'm holding the bottle. Your bottle's on your desk. Gotcha. Help me. Help me, please.

I'm stuck in this bottle. Pardon me, I'm trying to work, okay? I'm running out of time. Please let me go. This bottle isn't even empty. There's clearly Tito's vodka in here. Please let me out. I'm getting drunk. If you want the Tito's vodka, then feel free to drink. Or at least transfer me to a bottle of... I can't take you out. You're a decorative piece I bought you at an Urban Outfitters. So you'll just have to stay. I bought you. I purchased you. You bought me at an Urban Outfitters? Yes, I purchased the whole thing at an Urban Outfitters. Can I ask you something?

You're a window display, 30% off. Can I ask you something? I'd love to hear it. You're a pirate? Yeah, I'm a pirate. What's that steering wheel attached to your crotch?

This?

Yeah. Well, there's a steering wheel attached to my crotch.

We'll say it. Well, if I'm being honest, it's driving me nuts. Now, are you happy? That's all I wanted. Are you happy?

I was in a serious boat accident, and I have a steering wheel attached to my crotch. And it's making me a kind of kooky. You're having fun? You're having games? Yeah. Well, you'll stay in the bottle. Now, if you wouldn't mind, I'm trying to write my spec script for the office.

Alright, Dwight comes aboard.

Dwight comes aboard and Jim... Dwight comes aboard. Are you writing The Office on a pirate ship?

Hold on now!

I'm writing what I know! Sounds a little close to Gallivant.

I'm sorry? Which was a show that only lasted two seasons.

Then how would anyone fucking know what that is?

Can I get some advice? You should write a spec strip for Bob's Burgers. Okay. Who are the characters? Who are the characters? So there's Bob. Okay, Bob. There's Linda, his wife.

Linda on a pirate ship. There's three crazy kids. Three crazy kids.

Wait, this is Peter Pan.

You're just doing Peter Pan movies. There's a big dog. Okay, as a nurse. Yeah, okay. I like this. What'd you say your name was, Fary? You're my best friend. Huh? You're my best friend. Well, you're not my best friend. What? You're not my best friend. No, you asked my name. Yerma? This friend.

I'm not fucking friends with you.

I know! You're crazy. First of all, I'm not crazy. I'm nuts because of this wheel driving me that way.

What's under the patch? Are you trying to quit smoking? Yeah, I've tried to quit smoking with an eye patch.

If I can't see the cigarettes. And she also said, love the podcast. I know you're running out of Riddies and Puzzies. So here's some from a Riddle and Lateral Thinking puzzle book that pissed me off as a kid. Cheers from Melvin Celine. So there's one more from her. Okay, great. I saved this one for last because you're gonna get it right away, but I really want to do it just so I want to see a scene based on this. Adal, I think I'll race you on this one and I'll try to get it faster.

There's no such thing as an original Riddle. Sure. A new prison has been built in the middle of a vast lake.

One morning it's discovered that a prisoner who can't swim has escaped. The only evidence he leaves behind is a strand of a shoelace. How did he do it? Drink the lake. Was eaten by a shark.

He drank the lake? No.

He was eaten by a shark.

The lake was dry. No. He canoe-dogged himself across the dry ass lake. It was Lando Lake's butter. Yeah, it was Lando Lake's butter! Butter prison. Present on a lake, an inmate who couldn't swim escaped and the only thing that's left is a shoelace? Like a part of a shoelace. Oh, the lake was only two feet tall. Is he dead? He's not dead. He did escape. He did escape. He rode his shoe ashore. He took off his shoe, threw it as hard as he could, tied the lace to his finger, and then flew across the lake. That's the cutest thing I've ever heard in my life. Wait, this is an easy one? Yeah.

Read it again.

A new prison has been built in the middle of a vast lake. One morning, it's discovered that a prisoner who can't swim has escaped. The only evidence he leaves behind is a strand of a shoelace.

How did he do it? No boats.

Is the prison on an island? In the middle of a lake.

Oh, the prisoner was Jesus, the walker on her. But he had to take out his shoes. The prisoner was Jesus.

You're the closest with canoe dog.

Wait, is it frozen? Blake's frozen? Yes, but yes, and? He walked across? No. He skated across. He skated across. He skated across. The shoelace was from an ice skate.

Why did the shoelace fall off?

You know when you're like those like get cut like I break ice skates shoelaces all the time. What? I've never ice skated.

Really? Man, I don't think so. I've ice skated once and I hated it.

Yeah.

It really, really hurts your ankles if you're not used to it. I used to do it growing up and then the only time I've done it recently was... Different muscle groups.

The Olympics?

Downtown, you know when I went to the Olympics for ice skating? I did the couples' skate. He threw me too high up in the air and I landed in this.

He threw you up and then he just left, right? He threw you way up in the air and then you were grabbing under the scoreboard?

Yeah.

And he just left, right? Yeah, I know what I'm talking about. He went to Cabo? With your best friend. And that Will Ferrell movie is based on that, right? Yeah, Kicking and Screaming. Yeah, the only time I've ice skated in the last several years was, it's really fun, this is why I'm mentioning it, is in Millennium Park when it's winter, like by Christmas. That's the perfect time for ice skating.

Like it's right by the bean and you can go and there's... Right by the bean! It's really fun. Okay. Or I'll just go with Mariah.

Yeah, that's fine. I notice you haven't mentioned your boyfriend as a possible date for the... Ladies and gentlemen of the jury! No, I went with him ice skating. Hey, so I have a special surprise for us. Do we know who... Is it cookies? What is it?

Is it cookies?

Is it cookies? Well, it's a certain kind of cookie. You do want us to guess the surprise. What's up? You do want us to guess the surprise? I do, but I had more to offer before you interrupted. Oh, great. So it's like when we read Riddles and you just start guessing immediately. Yeah, absolutely.

It's like that, but this shoe's on the other foot, so it feels bad. It feels terrible. It's too tight of a fit. I guess it's cookies. It's a sandbox. Which is a type of cookie that is a little gritty. You're thinking of Sandy. What's up? Sandy's.

Hey, it's Sandor Weiss. Please, Cookie Man, do not talk. Holy shit, how we never called you the Cookie Man. Hold on, new intro. The cookie jar. Welcome back to WZR4.

This is Adal Rifai in the morning with the Zoo Crew. We got Erin Keif on the mics. I want cookies.

Nailed it. We all have JPC, the Wolfman. And, welcoming to the studio, our special guest, the Cookie Man, Chomp Chomp. Oh, he already has a catchphrase. Crumble Crumble. I was so jealous. Erin, what's your catchphrase? I want cookies.

That's a cookie monster.

Holy shit. That's cookie monster's catchphrase.

Never mind, I need another one.

You just glommed onto. I need another one.

I like that Sandy's a cookie man.

He says chomp chomp.

And then it's like, what's your catchphrase? And you're like, I want cookies? We want cookies.

But Warri, he's the cookie man. I don't know. The wolf man's catchphrase is, I'm Big Bird Bitch!

Sandy, welcome to the episode.

Thank you. It's good to be back. We're glad to have you back. Now, per our agreement, you haven't done any other puzzles since I was here last week. We've done no other puzzles. We've solved nothing. Cool. Awesome. Glad to hear it. I have been, I went to Boston. What have you been up to? We did that in backwards order.

You go first.

What have you been up to, Sandy?

I went to Boston and I bring it up because two things happened to me that made me think of you guys.

Number one is within a few minutes I was riding that bus you take from the airport.

What's it called?

Airport bus. No, it's a tram.

There's no train to the Boston Airport. You have to ride this crappy bus.

And I get on and it's crowded and it's hot and it's loud and the bus driver comes on and I start cracking up for no reason. And I'm like, why am I laughing at this person? And it's because I realized because they just had a really thick Boston accent and you just ruined it for listening to this show. Everything about Boston is hilarious. Yeah, now everyone's a cartoon when you go to Boston.

Oh no.

And then also I was there for the MIT Mystery Hunt, which is in January, but whatever. Yeah, how it had the Mystery Hunt go. It was great. The Mystery Hunt is an incredible weekend-long hunt for like teams of hundreds of people or hundred people or so. Our team had over a hundred. And you're trying to find Red October? You're hunting a hundred people. It's like the most dangerous game.

It's Fortnite but real life. So the best place to be is second place, which is what we got because first place has to write next year's hunt. Oh Jesus. Except you know like everyone still wants to win. Was it you who said that you might be getting to this that there was something from our show that was referenced in The Hunt? Well here's the weird thing. So the the the the puzzles are mostly online or in PDF form like you can download them but occasionally they'll come to your headquarters and bring you something or you have to go to their headquarters and pick up something physical and for example like one puzzle was a box of a dozen Dunkin Donuts actually with little USB drives in them that had files on them that were puzzles. You couldn't eat the donuts? You could eat it, I mean.

Wait, there were what in the thoughts? Oh, no! But at the same time, we also got a book that was a puzzle, and the book was called Swan Lumps. Wow. But it was not a reference to this show. Fuck that. What was it a reference to?

A different, more popular.

Yeah, but how is it? They came up with the same name. That's our IP. Wait, are you telling me the laziest thing that I've ever done was come up with by someone else?

I hate to tell you.

I came up with that because it's easy to come up with that. Well thanks for coming on Sandy. Anything to plug? Well hey Adal actually Sandy why don't you do one of your fucking segments where you ask us questions and stuff.

I mean I guess I could do that.

Why not? Okay cool.

I know we invited you on to hear about your Boston trip that we didn't ask about. I don't like this place. We're bullies and we own it. But please, yes, we'd love to do some puzzles. Cool. Alright, so here's the puzzle for today. These are clues for rhyming phrases.

Two word phrases where the two words rhyme. They're common phrases, but in addition, one of the words in the clue also rhymes. So like howdy-doody.

Uh-huh.

So, I don't have that on my list.

Wait, that doesn't work. Howdy Doody does not rhyme. Good work, all of us. Howdy Doody. The most important part of this is figuring out what one isn't. So, for example, if I said a hokey way of saying sure, you would say Okie-dokie.

Okie-dokie. Okie-dokie. Okie-dokie.

Okie-dokie. Okie-dokie. Okie-dokie. Okie-dokie. Okie-dokie. Okie-dokie. Okie-dokie. Okie-dokie. Okie-dokie. Okie-dokie. Okie-dokie. Okie-dokie. Okie-dokie. Okie-dokie.

Okie-dokie. Okie-dokie.

Okie-dokie. Okie-dokie. Okie-dokie. Okie-dokie. Okie-dokie. Okie-dokie. Okie-dokie. Okie-dokie. Okie-dokie. Okie-dokie. Okie-dokie. Okie-dokie.

Nilly Willy. Willy Nilly? Willy Nilly. Willy Nilly, is it?

Nilly Willy.

Oh no, I love it.

Adal, stop trying to make your character Nilly Willy get onto the show.

Why is Nilly Willy back from the war?

If you're listening to this, we've cut Nilly Willy out of maybe seven episodes. Listen, I came up with the character. It's basically Willy Nelson, but he loves Nilly Wifers. He gets eye and eats Nilly Wifers. I call him Nilly Willy. Okay, wait. Wait, now I want to go back and put him into seven episodes.

No, it's too late. It's just Nilly Willy. Alright, I'm ready for another one. We need some fan art of Willy Nelson smoking Nilla Wafers. Just call it Nilly Willy. Nilly Willy.

Okay, itty details worth sweating over.

You said itty? Itty bitty details worth sweating over. Nitty gritty. Nitty gritty. Nitty gritty. Fudge. And actually, that's a character JPC's been doing, which is Gritty, the Philadelphia Flyers mascot. That's an old grandma. Giving out where there's a knitting. All of our characters suck. Do you think he uses his own fur to like... Oh, absolutely. He's a psychopath. That's a nightmare. He grows at a rate that is... It's all his pubes.

Okay, next clue.

And fur is just pubes.

I don't need to talk to you anymore today. I think I've had enough of you today, sir. Erin, did you know that guys' pubes are just feathers? I need to get out of here. Oh, there's walls. No door.

Old Buddy Who's Boring. Nutty Buddy. Boring. Snoring. Fuddy Duddy. There you go. Duddy Fuddy. Duddy Fuddy. Duddy Fuddy. Duddy Fuddy. Duddy Fuddy. Duddy Fuddy. Duddy Fuddy. Duddy Fuddy. Duddy Fuddy. Duddy Fuddy. Duddy Fuddy. Duddy Fuddy.

A person who might enjoy the song Tennessee Jed.

Tennessee Jed. A Deadhead. Was that a Grateful Dead song?

It's the first Grateful Dead song I could find that rhymed with dead and head. I don't like the Grateful Dead but I saw them, they played it like some speedway in Juliet or something and Bob Dylan opened but I went to see Bob Dylan.

He was a nightmare and then I seen him twice and once he was phenomenal and once it was like this is like a goose dying moaning on stage. Oh my god!

It was bad.

He's weird. He got busted for peeking in people's windows. He's walking around like Boston peeping in people's windows and they busted him. Fucking pervert. They busted him? Yeah. What is happening? And the windows. Grateful Dead, their lead singer for the night was Joan Osborn. Weird. Which was weird. Weird. Wait, Joan Osborn opened for Bob Dylan, opened for... No, Bob Dylan opened for the dead and then the dead sang and Joan Osborn took Jerry Garcia's parts. Oh right. I'm just now learning that the Grateful Dead have lyrics to their songs. Yeah, what if God was one of us? 20 minute jam, 20 minute jam. All right, here we go. This is from CA on Twitter. Mario's body slam move when he's around enemies. Ground pound. Ding dong. Wow, damn it. This is from Abby. Teeny legume-based sausages that come in a can. Green beans.

No. Legume-based sausages that come in a can?

Mm-hmm. They're teeny.

We need beanies. Beanie weenies?

Oh, so some of these are fucking nonsense. That's a real product. Beanie weenies? Wait, those are the collectables, the Princess Di beanie weenies? Of all the people, that edible Princess Di beanie weenies. That took my brain so long. I've been sitting here 20 minutes, not a lot of much time this Beanie Weenies, also called Frankenbeans, is a dish.

It's not a brand, it's a dish. Beanie Weenies.

How'd you get the beans above the francs? A lively ABBA song that can break you out of your stupor. Dancing Queen, Schmancing, Splendid. Mamma Mia. Well, one of those is a rhyme. Which word do you think it is? Stupor? Supertrooper. Yeah, Mamma Mia, here we go again. Don't give your honey this counterfeit bill. Funny money. You're good at this. Vibe you might get when freebies are too good to be true. Swag bag. Which rhyme? Freebies. Swagabedis. Freebie weebies. That's my favorite Ben and Jerry's winner. God, I went on a date with this guy and he just gave me the freebie weebies. He paid for everything. He gave me the Nilly Willys. I think you know.

It's Freebie, right?

Peepy Geebies. By the way, Sandy said, I think you know, I didn't know. I was just saying Freebie Weebies did not put two and two together.

Hit song by that Scottish fellow Donovan.

Oh, that'd be Ray Donovan. He's from Australia.

He plays Sabertooth in X-Men. They call me the... Yellow, mellow, yellow, yellow, yellow, yellow, yellow, yellow, yellow, yellow, yellow, yellow, yellow, yellow, yellow, a squawky, handheld communication, squawky-talky, squawky-talky, squawky-talky, squawky-talky, squawky-talky, squawky-talky, squawky-talky, squawky-talky, squawky-talky, squawky-talky, squawky-talky, squawky-talky, squawky-talky, squawky-talky, squawky-talky, squawky-talky, squawky-talky, squawky-talky, squawky-talky, squawky-talky, squawky-talky, squawky-talky, squawky-talky squawky-talky squawky-talky squawky-talky squawky-talky squ Thank you Erin. Crank turned string instrument that looks like a sturdy violin. Crank turned string instrument that looks like a violin. It was sturdy, right? 30 and 40. Horny Kitty. Fucky Bucky. Willy Dilly. Honestly, it's all of them. Is it Orgy? Is Orgy the word? Mm-hmm. Orgy and Bess. It's from Orion. Clergy. Clergy. Clergy.

Clergy.

Clergy. Clergy. Clergy. Clergy. Clergy.

Clergy.

Clergy. Clergy.

Clergy. Clergy. Clergy. Clergy.

Clergy.

Clergy. Clergy. Clergy. Clergy. Clergy. Clergy. Clergy.

Clergy. Clergy. Clergy. Clergy. Clergy. Clergy. Clergy. Clergy. Clergy. Clergy. Clergy. Clergy. Clergy. Clergy.

Clergy. Clergy. Clergy. Clergy. Clergy. Clergy. Clergy.

Clergy. Clergy. Clergy. Clergy. Clergy. Clergy. Clergy. Clergy. Clergy. Clergy. Clergy. Clergy. Clergy.

Humpty Dumpty. Sat on the wall. No. Rhymes with orgy. Orgy. Porgie. Porgie. Porgie. That's one of the words. Porgie. Porgies.

Oh, Horgie Porgie.

What's his name?

Georgie Porgie. Georgie Porgie. Georgie Porgie.

Must be hard running around with a name that rhymes with orgy.

Yeah.

I'm sure nothing bad happened. That's my PG. All right. Thank you, PG. And thank you, Sandy, for all of those great little puzzies. Anything to plug? Oh, just come onto my Twitter and see more of these things every day. And what's your Twitter handler? You're Chelsea Handler, I'm sorry. P-Z-L-R and you can go to the Mystery League.

Actually, there's no the. Go to mysteryleague.com and you can learn all about the stuff I do, which is team building puzzle activities and games.

It's good stuff. I will say, and we haven't discussed this prior so I don't mean to put you on the spot, I've played two or three of your home brew escape rooms. So Sandy makes these like, basically like in a briefcase, take it out and it's everything you need to do like a... Yeah, it's like an escape game at a table.

Yes, and the two or three I've done are phenomenal. Thank you.

Do you have any plans to... One, you brought to my birthday party.

Do you have any plans to do any more of those or take those ones that you made on the road?

Yeah, I occasionally take them on the road. If a client brings me out to another city, I'll try to put on a public event where I can sell tickets. And to find out about those, I have a newsletter called My Dispatch, which is at dispatch.mysteryleague.com. You can subscribe and put puzzles out there too. But to answer your other question, Yeah, I'm actually in the final stages of my next one. Hell yeah. But I did the museum one and the like Fantastic Beasts. And those are two of the best, having done Escape the Rooms and other whatever else, those are two of the best ever.

Thank you. Can I also plug, did you do The Last Defender? Yeah. Yes. The Last Defender was a show, escape room type immersive experience that I did with the house theater in Chicago. And it'll be coming back eventually, hopefully soon, but it is actually scheduled to open in Denver at the end of this month.

Like the last day of May, I think. Where can people in Denver go to find that information? That would be a good piece of information for me to know. And what's the best dispensary in Denver?

Hold up.

Now that is a riddle. So if you are listening and you are in Denver... Google Last Defender Denver. Yeah, Last Defender Denver.

And that works for the rhyme scheme of today's puzzle.

Last Offender Denver. DenverCenter.org is the Denver Center for the Performing Arts. Okay, and Sandy we're just gonna have you stand over here by this cliff and we're gonna give you a tight little shove.

Thanks for committing. Cookies. Munch munch. Thank you Sandy. Thank you my daddy. Ew, bye! Anything to plug? Do you ever call teachers daddy? Only when they're good teachers. I feel like I remember in class kids calling the teacher mom. Yeah, that's a embarrassing thing.

You don't recover from that in a second. No they didn't. They're still in school. Adal, anything to plug?

I have too many things to plug. I want to plug Magic Tavern, which comes back season three starts on July 22nd. We recorded with a bunch of special guests and I'm very excited for that. So check that out July 22nd, season three starts. We also have two Magic Tavern live shows in Indianapolis, coinciding with Gen Con.

That's August 2nd, Friday. We have an 8 p.m. and a 10 p.m. show. Please check those out.

We did those last year and it's so, so much fun. Also, I guess it on some podcasts recently while I was in LA, so check out new appearances on Off Book, Hollywood Handbook, How Did This Get Played, which is a new podcast about video games with Nick Weiger and Heather Ann Campbell, and also I recorded a bonus episode with Voyage to the Stars, which was very fun. JPC, anything to plug? Let's see.

Can you beat that?

Let's see, is there anything that I have to plug? I'd like to plug all the same podcasts. I did all this as well. I'd like to plug help from the magic tavern. I was asked to be on the podcast. I couldn't make it work with my schedule and I was actually never asked again. You can follow me on Instagram at sharkbarkman.

Follow me at Twitter at JP.

So fly, Erin.

Follow me on Instagram at Erin Keif 10.

A web series I filmed a while ago and wrote and produced is coming out. We're not coming out.

We're just doing a night where we show the whole thing before we take it to festivals. And so I will promote that on my Instagram and then you can buy a ticket to watch my web series. And Erin, do you mind?

There's some thin crust hungry Howie's pizza there.

Could you take a bite of that and just say whatever comes to mind? Yum! Jupiter! Bye forever! created by Adal Rifai, starring Erin Keif, and John Patrick Mullin, KG Snyder did the editing, M.R.E. parents in the music, logo created by Emily Cardamus and M.O.E.

Nemours,

That was a head gum podcast.